amenpenis:

cellphones have two brightness settings: “dim” and “the messiah is back”

sweetbitter-esprit:

mtv
jinxley:

i tried to invoke the powers of jesus on my history test but the lord has failed me

jinxley:

i tried to invoke the powers of jesus on my history test but the lord has failed me

feather-ontheclyde:

It’s the two sides of Tumblr.

  • me: hi i'd like to order sweet and sour chicken, some beef frie-
  • chinese restaurant: do u want egg roll
  • me: i didn't even finish my order
  • chinese restaurant: *to the chef* Zhīfáng měiguó xīwàng dàn juǎn
  • me: what
library-of-crazy-221b:

niknak79:

He’s tripping on acid

I tried to scroll past

library-of-crazy-221b:

niknak79:

He’s tripping on acid

I tried to scroll past

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

acousticbrainwaves:

This is the most accurate depiction of my love life ever.

  • Me: *sits in towel for 6 months after showering*

hommewalk:

I need a part time job that pays $20,000 per week.

electricfunicole:

jjellyfishuntingg:

loveandddrevenge:

thehereticpharaoh:

People really don’t believe Ancient Egyptians were ethnically African?

Why is the whole cast of Exodus: Gods and Kings all white people please RIDDLE ME THIS

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Egypt is in fucking Africa how is this confusing people

electricfunicole:

jjellyfishuntingg:

loveandddrevenge:

thehereticpharaoh:

People really don’t believe Ancient Egyptians were ethnically African?

Why is the whole cast of Exodus: Gods and Kings all white people please RIDDLE ME THIS

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Egypt is in fucking Africa how is this confusing people

sluttybang:

British television at its finest

Tarantino is Genius.